Fanzine
A Certain Ratio, Spherical Objects, Vibrant Thigh, The Fall, Emergency
Russell Club
20th February 1979

Featuring: ACR, Emergency, The Fall, Vibrant Thigh, Spherical Objects
Contributors: Andy Zero, Martin X, Martin Carver, M. Hartley, Dave Ward
Offices: Russell Club, Royce Road, Hulme, Manchester.

TRANSCRIPTION:

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:-
V.D. -anoccupational hazard. I got it a bit back. A couple of weeks after screwing with a woman, i'd have a piss and get a burning sensation in the end of my prick. Also my bed and groin started smelling rotten. It took about 3 days before I realised something was up and another /3 days before i made it to a clinic. There's a V.D. clinic at every general hospital, or your doctor can treat youu. I went to St Lukes 'special' clinic just off Liverpool rd off Deansgate. Go round the mens entrance- go in- go to the counter. "youre a bit late" go round to interview cubicle, tell the woman me name and get give a ca rd with my number. "wait for doctor No 1". didnt have to wait so i went straight in - the doctor was more like a dirty old man than anyone i've ever seen; he peered over his glasses and said "get it out then, lets have a look at it". He wrote something illegible on my card and sent me through to a waiting room at the back. When my turn came a male nurse called me into a side room, i rolled up my sleeve and he took a blood sample with a syringe. I then went into another room, another nurse, i pissed into a couple of bottles. the nurse put on a surgical paper glove and held my penis, the next thing i know he's shoved a long peice of wire with a loop on the end up the tube inside my cock, he then repeated this with a long peice of wood with a small cotton wool dab on the end - both times he did this i just realised i was in agony when he pulled it out, he wrote a few things on the card and i went back to the doctor; he grunted and said "no sex, no drink, see them at the back, come back next week" - seeing as he even said what i'd got i asked "N.S.U.- non specific utheritis" this means they don't know what it is. I see them at the back and get given some orange pills, "no birds, no booze, tara". After drinking orange juice and taking 4 big orange pills a day for a week, i went back. The burning sensation when i pissed had gone after a few days. 1st waiting room, 2nd doctor - a bit more pleasant. A few questions (no birds? no drink? -right), piss in a jar - he has a look at it and there are only a few small bits, (when there are bits,, especially large ones, in the piss; theres something up). "Right" he says, "you can drink a bit but take it easy with the women for a week or so, come back in a w eek for a final check up"; i didnt bother going back.
Incidentally, if you go to the clinic with someone, they'll have to wait out siide(preserve anonymity of the clients). If its your 1st visit and you go within 1/2 hour of closing you'll have to go back another time. The only time you give your name is at the start - on your treatment card which you're supposed to bring each time, there8s only your number. The reason you cant drink is because it stops the antibiotic working (also it hurts when you piss!)
I told the woman I'd screwed with and she went for a check-up but had nothing. It is possible, when two people have sex, for a chemical reaction to occur between all the germs on the two bodies, which can lead to an infection.
andy zero