Photograph
Beat Science
Bakers Vaults
22nd March 2007

“A real Theremin does not go as well with Cheese on Toast as the Marmite variety. The manufacturers of these offer the other options of putting the circuitry in either a Dolls head or a minature coffin. There was a review of them in Future Music last year and the sales rocketed. The bloke who makes them had to register as a business afterwards to continue selling on EBay. They work the other way round to a "real" one. The nearer you go with your hand (or appendage of choice) the lower the note. It works with light so you need it bright hence the hand held light source in the picture. It goes from subsonic bass rumble to ultrasonic whine....wooooooeeeeeeee! wish I could afford a Big Briar one though..”

“I remember seeing Ronnie Montrose on TV around 1974 using an aerial type Theremin that was attached to his guitar and thinking "aye up wtf's that "!!.I've just been Googling about a bit and came across the story of a bloke that bought a Marmite model through mail order.The Anti-Terrorist Squad smashed into his house early one morning and he had a job and a half explaining what the jar with switches actually was rather than what the staff on the x-ray machine at the couriers thought it was !!.”

“Just to clarify for the folks who know that Sinuf Mood of Iron Lung, Sinful Dr. Arson of Beat Science and 'Dad' of The CasualTies are all Arnie Furniss, the above 'Arnie' is someone from a parallel universe that exists outside Stockport ! Over to you, Arnie!”

“Mine must have slipped through the net just before we started to become a police state. Still they might barge into a gig some time, that would liven things up for sure.”

“Mmmm............I've never thought of Stalybridge as a parallel universe,I always thought it was more of a black hole.”

“?”

“Suspected it was thereabouts, read your comment on The Spread Eagle elsewhere. Played in the back yard of The Pointsman one Sunday afternoon many moons ago with The CasualTies.”

“The Spread Eagle fell into a Wormhole sadly”

“You may be saddened to hear,or there again you may not,that the Pointsman burnt down the other week,suspected arson.”

“Saddened, the loss of any pub these days. I could give you a list of pubs that we've played in that are no longer extant. Hmmmm....the Curse of The Casualties !”

“I hope they never ban Marmite from pubs. I suppose I could get a longer lead and play it outside if push comes to shove(whatever that means).”

“I think Stalyvegas turned into a black hole soon after Tesco opened.”

“Eating Marmite repels mosquitos apparently....”